When it rains, it pours! Sometimes, it feels like everything is happening at once. During times of challenge, you may feel overwhelmed and defeated. However, in these moments, thinking about the situation in a different way can inspire you to keep moving forward. In this article, we'll explore how you can build emotional resilience by applying Dr. Martin Seligman's three Ps: Personalization, Pervasiveness, and Permanence. These concepts can help you face challenges with a fresh perspective, embrace your inner strength, and take it one day at a time.
When faced with difficulties, we often blame ourselves entirely for the situation. We personalize the problem, assuming we are solely responsible for what went wrong. As a result, we carry unnecessary guilt and self-doubt, making it harder to find the motivation to move forward. Instead, consider external factors that might have contributed to the challenge.
For example, when we experience sudden changes in mood during pregnancy, we may ask ourselves, What is wrong with me? But we can show ourselves some self-compassion by considering the fact that it is the changing levels of pregnancy hormones that cause these shifts in mood and not any choice of our own.
During challenging times, it's easy to perceive the situation as all-encompassing, affecting every aspect of your life. This feeling of pervasiveness can make it hard to appreciate the good things happening elsewhere.
To build emotional resilience, remind yourself that difficult situations are temporary and do not define every part of your life. Try to recognize and celebrate the areas in which you are succeeding or finding joy. By doing so, you regain a sense of control and balance.
For example, if we experience a setback at work, we might believe that we will fail in all of our pursuits, making it difficult to move on. When we pause to consider the pervasiveness of the situation, we see that this setback is only related to our job. It does not impact our ability to be a friend, a parent, a spouse, or any other areas in our life.
In difficult times, it's common to believe that the challenges you face will last forever. This feeling of permanence can create a sense of hopelessness and prevent you from taking proactive steps to overcome obstacles. However, nothing in life is truly permanent. Change is constant, and difficult situations will pass with time. By accepting the impermanence of challenges, you open yourself up to the possibility of growth and better days ahead.
For example, if our baby experiences a fussy phase, we may feel like it will never end. However, if we take a moment to reflect, we might realize that our baby is experiencing a growth spurt and needs more food than usual, causing them to be extra fussy. By acknowledging that this growth spurt is temporary, we can strengthen our ability to cope during this challenging period.
It's okay to feel overwhelmed in the face of tough times. What matters most is how you respond to these challenges. By considering the three Ps, you can build emotional resilience and find the strength to keep moving forward. Take it one day at a time, and remember that you are not alone in this!