In today's ever-changing world, each family faces unique challenges when determining safety boundaries. The decisions we make for our loved ones are often influenced by a delicate balance of factors that shape our choices. As parents, we have all experienced moments of doubt and uncertainty, questioning whether we are making the right decisions for our families. Communicating these choices to friends, family, and our community can add to the pressure we feel. However, there are no one-size-fits-all solutions, and it’s important to feel confident in your safety boundaries.
To help you reaffirm your decisions and navigate this journey with assurance, you can use the F.A.S.T. principles. F.A.S.T. is an acronym that stands for:
In times of uncertainty, we can be fair to ourselves and others. Remember, we are all facing challenging circumstances, and none of us have all the answers. Acknowledge that every family is doing their best based on the information available to them. This principle helps create an atmosphere of understanding and empathy, fostering a sense of unity within the community. Avoid passing judgment on others who may have different safety boundaries. Instead, cultivate compassionate thoughts for yourself and those around you. For example:
As parents, we sometimes feel compelled to apologize for the decisions we make regarding our family's safety. However, if you have made thoughtful and informed choices, there is no need to apologize. You are the best judge of what is safe and appropriate for your loved ones. While your decisions may not align with everyone's expectations, stand firm in your choices. Remind yourself that your family's well-being comes first, and others should respect and support your decisions, even if they differ from their own.
Your safety boundaries are a reflection of your family's values and beliefs. Every family has unique circumstances, needs, and priorities, so comparing your choices to others' is unproductive. Trust that you are making decisions based on what is best for your family, given your individual circumstances. Similarly, avoid criticizing the safety decisions of others, as they, too, are operating from their values and experiences. Embrace the notion that there is no right or wrong way to approach safety; each family has its own path.
Honesty is paramount when communicating your safety boundaries. Stick to the facts and avoid exaggeration or downplaying the situation. Transparently sharing your reasoning and considerations behind your decisions helps others understand your choices better and promotes open dialogue within the community. Here are some ways to share your rationale:
You can also sidestep your rationale, especially in a situation where you think the other person is looking for a debate. Here are a couple of ways to do that:
As parents, we are tasked with making difficult decisions about our family's safety, and it’s okay to experience doubt and uncertainty along the way. However, following the F.A.S.T. principles can strengthen your confidence in the safety boundaries you set. Remember, there is no perfect answer, but by embodying these principles, you can navigate this journey with greater assurance and support for yourself and your community.