Throughout motherhood, we encounter many new situations and experiences. When going through lots of change, we can get into the habit of all-or-nothing thinking. In this article, we'll explore a mindset shift that can offer you a fresh perspective and alleviate the pressure you often place on yourself. Let’s explore the power of thinking in terms of gray.
Imagine a world where everything is either black or white, success or failure, perfect or flawed. In reality, the world is much more nuanced—and therein lies the beauty. When we fall into a pattern of all-or-nothing thinking, we're vulnerable to self-blame and harsh self-judgment. When we think this way, we pressure ourselves to succeed, thinking that if we don't, our only option is to fail. Here is an example of all-or-nothing thinking:
Deandra decides to try a new method for putting her baby down for a nap after another mother had told her it worked wonders. After trying this method for a week, Deandra still struggles with getting her baby to sleep. She becomes frustrated and engages in negative self-talk, telling herself she will never be able to soothe her baby. Despite her other successes throughout motherhood, Deandra labels herself a failure.
When we focus solely on the extremes, we rob ourselves of the joy and growth that come from the journey itself. Picture a world where the shades of gray allow you to celebrate your victories while acknowledging challenges. This perspective shift enables you to break free from the confines of absolutes and paves the way for a more compassionate relationship with yourself.
Thinking in terms of gray involves looking beyond the extremes and reflecting on your journey as a whole. Instead of dwelling on your present struggles, take a step back. Recognize that amidst the challenges, you've also achieved triumphs that deserve applause. Motherhood isn't a pass-fail test but a continuous evolution filled with ups, downs, and countless shades in between. Here are some ideas of ways to reframe in terms of gray:
Perfection is an elusive goal, and yet, so many of us chase it relentlessly. By embracing the gray, you grant yourself the grace to be imperfect and human. You acknowledge that some days will be better than others. This balance frees you from the shackles of unrealistic expectations and allows you to breathe and learn.
In a world that often glorifies perfection, it's easy to forget that progress is the true measure of success. Embracing the gray encourages you to value the small steps you take every day. Celebrate the moments when your baby coos with delight or you manage to steal a few moments of self-care. These are the building blocks of an enriching motherhood journey. By letting go of absolutes and embracing the complexities of your experience, you grow your resilience.
As you navigate the beautiful yet challenging path of motherhood, remember that life is painted in shades of gray. Release yourself from the burden of all-or-nothing thinking and embrace the multifaceted nature of your journey. By focusing on progress, granting yourself grace, and celebrating the middle ground, you'll discover a newfound sense of balance and self-compassion.