When you see so many perfectly-curated versions of motherhood and the “perfect mom” in the media, it's easy to get caught up in aspiring to be this ideal figure. But the reality is that we are human. Humans don’t have unlimited energy levels, and sometimes we feel challenging emotions. Things don't always go according to plan. And that's okay.
When we are so focused on the person we wish we could be, we can lose sight of what makes us unique and incredible right now. Let’s talk about how you can celebrate the person you are right now.
Despite how hard you try to be a certain way, you may never be completely satisfied—"the grass is always greener on the other side.” This can damage your self-worth and lead to feelings of frustration or inadequacy. Furthermore, consistently working toward an unreasonable standard can lead to exhaustion and burnout.
On an episode of the podcast The Mom Hour, hosts Megan and Sarah discuss the idea of a "fantasy mom.” They talk about how aspiring to be this ideal mom can make us feel like we are playing a part in a movie about someone else. Because the mom we wish we were is not always who we are inside, striving to be the perfect mom may cause us to lose our sense of authenticity.
In a world that constantly pushes us towards unattainable standards, you can remind yourself of your worth with a self-love mantra. These are some of our favorites:
"I have enough, I do enough, I am enough."
"Everything I need is within me."
“I am exactly the person my child needs.”
Embracing these mantras can help you let go of the pressure to be perfect and, instead, focus on being present and genuine.
We all have distinctive qualities that make us who we are. If your “fantasy mom” starts creeping into your thoughts, remember that your authentic self is filled with strengths that are unique to you. Maybe you're the type of person who remains calm under pressure, helping you make sound decisions during challenging moments. Perhaps you're skilled at conflict management, which aids you in finding constructive solutions to family issues. These attributes are invaluable as a parent, contributing to a nurturing and loving environment for your family.
While you're wishing you could be like someone else, remember that someone else wishes they could be more like you. Comparison is a never-ending cycle that can erode your self-esteem. Each of us brings something special to the table. When you focus on your strengths and genuine self, you become an authentic role model for your children, showing them that it's okay to be imperfect and that self-love is crucial.
Remember that the "fantasy mom" is just that—a fantasy. Instead of yearning to be someone you’re not, embrace the beautiful and imperfect person that you are. Your uniqueness, strengths, and authenticity are the gifts that will shape your child’s life in the most profound ways. Release the weight of unattainable expectations, and instead, focus on being the best version of yourself. You are enough, and you are exactly the parent your child needs.