Today, let's talk about a topic that's part of being human but often tough to address—envy. Envy can take many forms, from longing for someone else's looks, possessions, or skills, to feeling inadequate or resentful. Today, we'll discuss what envy looks like, where it shows up, and how you can move beyond it. Let's explore this human emotion together!
Envy looks different for everyone, but most people have experienced it in one form or another. "Mom envy," in particular, is a feeling of jealousy or insecurity experienced by moms when comparing themselves to other moms. A poll published on parenting.com revealed that, out of 1,000 mothers, 92% of respondents said that they had experienced mom envy before.
From feeling envious of someone's parenting skills to coveting a well-prepared nursery, mom envy can manifest in various ways. You might find yourself comparing your journey to that of others, especially in the age of social media, where picture-perfect posts often hide the ups and downs of parenthood. But everyone has moments of self-doubt, even those whose lives seem flawlessly curated online.
The first step to moving beyond your envy is to delve into the "why." Sometimes, envy is triggered by your own worries and insecurities. For instance, envying someone who has their nursery ready well in advance might reflect your stress about preparing for your own baby's arrival. Similarly, envying someone with impeccably polite children could stem from your self-judgment about your parenting skills. By understanding the root cause of your envy, you can begin to address your inner concerns and focus on what truly matters to you.
Envy can act as a mirror, revealing what you genuinely value in life. When you envy someone's organizational skills in setting up the nursery, it shows that you, too, value time management, organization, and motivation. Similarly, when you envy a parent with polite children, it reflects your deep appreciation for respect, gratitude, and kindness. Recognizing the connection between your envy and your values empowers you to embrace these qualities within yourself.
Rather than letting envy bring you down, you can reframe it as a source of motivation to cultivate what you value. Suppose envy helps you recognize the importance of organization; in that case, you can take small steps, such as using a monthly planner, to bring more order into your life. If envy highlights the significance of gratitude, you can practice it by keeping a gratitude journal. When you align your envy with your values, you pave the way for personal growth and self-discovery.
Always remember that you are a unique and extraordinary individual. Envy might visit from time to time, but it doesn't define you. Embrace the imperfections, for they are what make you real and relatable. Reframing your envy as a source of motivation can help you live your values and be true to yourself. Being a "good enough" parent is more than enough. Your journey is unique, filled with ups and downs, challenges, and moments of growth. It's OK to stumble and make mistakes. You are a phenomenal mom— a "good enough" mom— who loves, cares for, and nurtures your family with all your heart.