Practical Strategies For Handling Comparison in Parenthood

We learn and grow when we share stories, exchange ideas, and commiserate with other moms. Our mom friends allow us to celebrate the joys of motherhood while also helping us feel less alone when things are tough. These connections offer us a sense of camaraderie and understanding that only fellow moms can provide.

At the same time, we may find ourselves second-guessing, nit-picking, or self-criticizing when we seemingly don't measure up to our mom friends. Noticing our emotions allows us to understand why we're feeling the way we do. We become better at identifying patterns in our emotions when we notice them more often, which in turn, allows us to change our behavior.

Nurturing Self-Awareness

Developing your self-awareness can help counter the negative effects of comparison. By acknowledging your emotions and thought patterns, you gain insight into the reasons behind your reactions. This heightened self-awareness empowers you to respond to challenges and comparisons with grace and understanding.

Acknowledging your emotions does not mean you have to act on them. Remember that your thoughts, feelings, and memories do not define you. They are fleeting sensations that come and go. Separating yourself from your thoughts can help you detach from negative self-judgments and find peace in the knowledge that your worth is not determined by external factors.

Harnessing the Power of Mantras

You can help remind yourself that you are separate from your thoughts, feelings, and memories with a mantra. Repeating empowering phrases can serve as a gentle reminder to stay grounded and centered. Here are some of our favorites:

  • It's like this in this moment.
  • I am not my thoughts, feelings, or memories.
  • I can handle uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
  • Sensations pass through me.

Practical Strategies for Handling Comparison

Taking some proactive steps can help you overcome the pitfalls of comparison. Here are some practical steps to handle comparison with grace:

Lean into Gratitude

Take a moment each day to list three things you are grateful for. Practicing gratitude shifts your focus from what's lacking to the abundance in your life, fostering a more positive outlook.

Celebrate and Communicate

Genuinely celebrate your mom friend's successes and support them in their victories. Likewise, share your vulnerable moments and challenges. Being open about your struggles creates a safe space for reciprocal support during challenging times. In this shared vulnerability, we find strength, and the burdens of motherhood become lighter.

Limit Social Media Use

Social media's curated perfection can trigger feelings of inadequacy. Consider taking a break for a week or two to reconnect with yourself and your family, promoting a healthier mindset.

Prioritize Self-Care

Negative self-comparisons often arise when self-care is neglected. Use these moments as reminders to prioritize time for emotional, physical, and mental well-being. Caring for yourself empowers you in your journey as a mother.

Mom friends can be a lifeline during your motherhood journey. You can embrace the support, understanding, and celebration they bring while navigating comparisons with grace and self-compassion. By nurturing gratitude, communication, self-care, and self-awareness, you help create a thriving community of mothers who uplift each other in the joys and challenges of motherhood.

Let's Reflect