Supermom narratives are pervasive in our society, praising moms for effortlessly juggling parenting, career, household responsibilities, relationships, and personal well-being. While this might feel empowering, the supermom narrative creates unrealistic expectations and can lead you to believe that you should do it all without needing any help.
The truth is, no one can do it all alone, nor should they. Self-care is about prioritizing your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Asking for help is a fundamental aspect of self-care because it’s an action where you recognize when you need help and have the courage to seek it.
Because asking for and receiving help is hard in our society, it can help to normalize the act of asking for help. One way to start is by building a simple daily habit of asking yourself two questions:
This habit helps you notice where you need help and actually follow-through with making the request. As a bonus, this habit can help reduce resentment because you start asking for what you need, instead of bottling it up. Plus, you allow those who love you to show up in meaningful ways. So, take a deep breath, let go of any hesitation, and remember—you don’t have to do this alone.
Academic researcher, author, podcaster, and expert on shame and vulnerability, Brené Brown, highlights how asking for help opens us up to deeper connection:
One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on "going it alone." Somehow we've come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we're very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It's as if we've divided the world into "those who offer help" and "those who need help." The truth is that we are both.
from The Gifts of Imperfection
Anne Helen Petersen, author of Culture Study, reminds us that accepting care from others is just as important as offering it:
We cannot assume that others don’t have space to care for us, just as we cannot convince ourselves that we do not have space for others. You are not a burden; you are beloved.
from A Shortcut for Caring for Others (and Being Cared For Yourself)
What do you need help with this weekend? Who can help you?
Continue this reflection in the Moment for Parents app.