Anxiety has been a common thread in the conversations I’ve had with parents this week, touching on everything from global politics to the economy to job uncertainty. All of this on top of daily parenting challenges. Anxious thoughts can often lead to a sense of helplessness and hopelessness, from which it’s difficult to move forward.
If you find yourself in some sticky anxious thoughts, let’s walk through steps you can use to categorize your anxious thoughts, so you can move forward in your day. Start by asking yourself two questions.
1. Do I have control over the outcome?
2. Can I do anything about it right now (or soon)?
If you answer “yes” to either question, you’re facing an actionable worry. The best way to move forward is to create an action plan. For instance, if you're worried about whether your child is eating enough, you can schedule an appointment with your child’s pediatrician, dietician, occupational therapist, or feeding therapist to evaluate their growth and eating patterns.
If you’ve answered no to these questions, you can move on by finding ways to let these worries go. Remember, you canfeel anxious and still participate fully in life. Anxiety is an emotion that you can allow to pass through you. You don’t always need to process your emotions to move on. It’s OK to distract yourself, so the emotion passes through.
This shift in perspective can help you regain control over your emotions. By engaging in activities that ground you in the present, like taking a walk or enjoying family time, you can create space from intense anxious thoughts to help these emotions move through you.
By focusing on what you can control and letting go of what you can't, you can find peace and presence in your daily life. That said, if anxiety becomes overwhelming, reach out to loved ones or professionals for support. You are not alone in this journey.
Cleo Wade, author, poet, and activist, offers this gentle mantra when anxiety feels all-consuming and heavy:
Mantra for Anxiety: This is not you. This is something moving through you. It can leave out the same door it came in.
New York Times bestselling, award-winning co-authors and sisters, Emily and Amelia Nagoski, on processing helplessness and hopelessness:
For instance, feeling helpless and hopeless after watching news about the state of international politics? Don’t distract yourself or numb out; do a thing. Do yard work or gardening, to care for your small patch of the world. Take food to somebody who needs a little boost. Take your dog to the park. Show up at a Black Lives Matter march. You might even call your government representative. That’s great. That’s participation. You’re not helpless. Your goal is not to stabilize the government—that’s not your job (unless you happen to be a person whose job that is, in which case you still need to deal with the stress, as well as the stressor!)—your goal is to stabilize you, so that you can maintain a sense of efficacy, so that you can do the important stuff your family and your community need from you. As the saying goes, “Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something.” And “something” is anything that isn’t nothing.
from Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
The Moment for Parents app has quite a few updates including: Journeys.
Journeys offer guided daily lessons to help you build the skills and mindset to overcome the mental and emotional challenge of parenthood.
If this article rang true to you, download the Moment for Parents app to check out the Handling Worries Journey. Eager to hear what you think!