You might have heard the phrase, “Stop should-ing on yourself.” As a parent, this can be hard to do when you’re faced with an endless mental checklist of things you should be doing—working, cleaning, volunteering, staying on top of everything. These “shoulds” can weigh heavily, making it feel like you're constantly falling behind. So how do you stop shoulding on yourself?
You can reframe your “shoulds” to coulds.” For example, rather than saying “I should clean up,” you can say “I could clean up now, or I could go outside for a walk.” This small but powerful shift from ”should” to ”could” transforms your to-do list into choices, allowing you to make decisions based on what actually serves you in the moment. It’s not about ignoring responsibilities—it’s about giving yourself permission to prioritize what truly matters without guilt. **
Here are some practical steps to integrate this mindset shift into your daily life:
By replacing should with could, you empower yourself to parent with more ease and intention. Let go of the pressure to do it all, and trust that you’re already doing enough.
Best-selling author and expert on co-dependency, Melanie Beattie, who recently passed, reminds us that rest is not a luxury—it’s essential:
Rest when you’re tired. Take a break when life stales. Take time to recharge your battery. Energy isn’t something you have—it’s something you are. To give and give and give, to put out without taking in, depletes your battery. It drains you, runs you down.
from Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul
Writer and civil rights activist, James Baldwin, highlights how our choices and perceptions shape the lives we ultimately live:
People pay for what they do, and still more for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it very simply; by the lives they lead.
What could you do this weekend?