Parenting often feels like a loss of control—over your time, your sleep, your child’s mood, your energy levels, among many other factors. A sense of control is a core aspect of your well-being. It's not surprising if you feel frustrated or resentful when your sense of control is stripped away.
But there’s hope! You can reclaim a sense of control in your day-to-day by setting empathetic expectations for yourself. When pursuing a goal (and this can be anything from taking a shower to writing a book), ask yourself:
These questions help you adopt a mindset to extend yourself grace more easily.
Being kind to yourself is crucial. You can't control every circumstance, but you can control your response. Letting go of goals that no longer serve you, celebrating small wins, and being self-compassionate makes it easier to handle the curve balls of parenting. Remember, you're doing an incredible job, and it's okay to cut yourself some slack. Your love for your kids is what truly matters—and that's something you can control.
Self-compassion expert and author, Kristen Neff, reveals where happiness comes from:
“Happiness is not dependent on circumstances being exactly as we want them to be, or on ourselves being exactly as we’d like to be. Rather, happiness stems from loving ourselves and our lives exactly as they are, knowing that joy and pain, strength and weakness, glory and failure are all essential to the full human experience.”
from Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
Author and founder of Tiny Buddha, Lori Deschene, reminds us that we can respond with self-kindness for every emotion:
"Whatever you’re feeling, be good to yourself. If you feel lost, be patient with yourself while you find your way. If you feel scared, be gentle with yourself while you find the strength to face your fear. If you feel hurt, be kind to yourself while you grieve and slowly heal. You can’t bully yourself into clarity, courage, or peace, and you can’t rush self-discovery or transformation. Some things simply take time, so take the pressure off and give yourself space to grow."
How might you cut yourself some slack this weekend? How will you be kind to yourself?